My daughter is a cute five-year old being. She is supposed to kept out of all malices, all ill-thoughts and most importantly the sexist ideologies that is prevailing in the society. I am against any kind feminist ideologies nor I accept male chauvinism quietly. But as society is more or less like that we are bound to face sexism and it is really hard to protect our girlchilds from sexists comments at any time.
My in laws family had been boasting of not having a single child, till I and my parents exhibited immense joy and heartfelt happiness at the birth of my baby girl. They were bewildered and clueless only and helplessly had to join in the celebration! But that does not stop them commenting on each and every action of our daughter. When she shows anger while denied something, she is asked not to show anger because she is a girl. She cannot fight with her brothers while playing because she is a girl. She is praised for helping her mother in kitchen because she is suppposed to learn kitchen work. Only because of this I remain petrified for my annual visit to my husbands's paternal home where she is expected to behave a like an ideal girl only at the age of five.
All my efforts of keeping her away from the sexist remarks could not do very much. She has been growing up to be a sexist being only with her daily dose of TV viewing. She wants to be more fair, she will not learn driving a car, because girls have fun only while driving a scooty, she has an unending list of beauty products and what not, she wears a saree made by my dupattas and wants the curves! I don't know when the idiot box has become so smart to take the responsibilty of teaching the children. And how he teaches!
Our TV set now returned to the pre-independant era, where in the name of reality all retro activities happen, and in between the sas-bahu-sautan cat-fights you get to watch skimpy women dragged to men just by the smell of a deodorant, and she is ready to (z)attck him even with a twosome!
How to face gender-biases in India?
I have grown up in a remote village. Remote in the sense the our relatives and neighbours were people who had a middle-class mindset, where my liberal father bowed down to the thoughts of having a male heir to his family. We are three sisters. The youngest one is the result of my parents desire to have a male child. All these were result of aggressive mentality of my fathers neighbours who take it for granted that since my father does not have a male heir, his lands, his properties are open to be used(abused!) by all and sundry. But ultimately, almighty has listened to the prayers of my parents and we now have a brother as well, who in by no means interested in keeping his lands(!) in village and look after. But his very presence has secured our family in several mannersI must admit.My in laws family had been boasting of not having a single child, till I and my parents exhibited immense joy and heartfelt happiness at the birth of my baby girl. They were bewildered and clueless only and helplessly had to join in the celebration! But that does not stop them commenting on each and every action of our daughter. When she shows anger while denied something, she is asked not to show anger because she is a girl. She cannot fight with her brothers while playing because she is a girl. She is praised for helping her mother in kitchen because she is suppposed to learn kitchen work. Only because of this I remain petrified for my annual visit to my husbands's paternal home where she is expected to behave a like an ideal girl only at the age of five.
Gender-bias and sexist ideologies in family set up
Gender bias and sexist ideologies can prevail in the family in guise of affection.All my efforts of keeping her away from the sexist remarks could not do very much. She has been growing up to be a sexist being only with her daily dose of TV viewing. She wants to be more fair, she will not learn driving a car, because girls have fun only while driving a scooty, she has an unending list of beauty products and what not, she wears a saree made by my dupattas and wants the curves! I don't know when the idiot box has become so smart to take the responsibilty of teaching the children. And how he teaches!
Our TV set now returned to the pre-independant era, where in the name of reality all retro activities happen, and in between the sas-bahu-sautan cat-fights you get to watch skimpy women dragged to men just by the smell of a deodorant, and she is ready to (z)attck him even with a twosome!
For those who still wants to grow their girl childs without sexist ideologies here are some tips
- Let her watch TV, but talk to her to know what she is learning from TV.
- Please do not buy her sex defining dresses. Frocks are fine, but curve-defining Little dress should be avoided.(My daughter is a bit unhappy for this, but I can compensate her with something else).
- Let her participate in more and more activities.
- If you have time then spend it with her. Say her stories of brave women.
- If there are nannies and grand parents in the family or any member who is against the liberal upbringing of girl child, keep an eye on them and don't let your daughter fall prey to their ideologies.
- Baby girl love to dress up. But stay clear away from the kind of baby make-up products and too girly dresses.
- Encourage her to play with unisex toys. Skinny Barby, Blithe girls and their make up boxes, Hana Mantana items are enough to train your daughter to be a glam doll only. Instead of becoming a pampered, high-maintenance girl let her become tough enough to face the real world.
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